


Unfixable

by Lindsey7618



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments (Movies), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cutting, Hurt Alec, Hurt Magnus, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Malec, Sad Alec, Sad Magnus, Sad Malec, Self Harm, Shadowhunters - Freeform, alec cuts, alec self harms, magnus tries to help alec, self harm cutting, the mortal instruments - Freeform, tmi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 09:38:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11780433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lindsey7618/pseuds/Lindsey7618
Summary: Alec wasn't unfixable- no, far from it. He was lost, but Magnus could help him find his way again. He wouldn't rest until he had. He knew they were both in for a long, hard, uphill battle, likely for the rest of their lives, but they could do it. Magnus was never giving up on Alec.





	Unfixable

Alec was gripping the blades in his hand so tightly they cut into his fingers, and he was crying, and it terrified Magnus. It hurt so much that his gorgeous angel felt the need to cut into his own skin over and over again. It hurt so much that Alec couldn't see how wonderful, how perfectly imperfect he was. 

"Alec, baby, please let go of the blades," Magnus said softly. "I can help you, but you have to let me, okay?"

Alec shook his head violently, taking in a deep, shuddering breath. "No! I need them, aside from you they're all that keeps me from falling apart even more when I'm already broken. I need them, you don't understand, I fucking need them!"

He raised his head to reveal bloodshot eyes and tracks of tears running down his face, and in that moment, he seemed completely and utterly broken. And all Magnus wanted to do was fix him. 

"I'm- I'm too broken," Alec whispered through a choked sob. "I'm fucking unfixable, it's too late-"

Magnus placed a hand over his mouth firmly. "No," he said. "Alexander, listen to me. You are not unfixable. You're just a little broken, that's all, and broken things can be fixed. You're acting like there's something wrong with you, but there's not. Nothing's wrong with you. Absolutely fucking nothing, do you understand?"

Alec looked down, but the warlock grabbed his chin and gently lifted it back up so he could stare into Alec's beautiful blue eyes. All he wanted was for Alec to be okay again, that's all he cared about. He didn't give a damn about anything else, not even himself. 

"Do you understand?" he repeated, thankful his vice didn't waver and show Alec how scared he really was. He had to be strong for his shadowhunter.

Alec slowly nodded, and when Magnus raised an eyebrow silently asking for more, said, "Yes."

"Good." Magnus leaned forward to kiss his boyfriend on the lips. "I want to help you, Alexander. And you're going to let me. You don't have a choice- no matter how much you try to push me away, I'll be here for you. I'm never fucking leaving you, and you're going to have to get used to it. You're stuck with me for life."

"I think," Alec said said as he drew Magnus closer to brush his lips against the warlock's, "that I can handle that."

Suddenly a fresh wave of tears ran down his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry for causing so much trouble, I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

Magnus cut him off with a kiss. "Stop apologizing," he murmured, brushing away Alec's tears. 

"Thank you." Alec curled into his side and Magnus wrapped both arms around him and held him securely. "Thank you for not leaving me even though it would so much more easier for you."

"Don't even thank me for that, darling." Magnus shook his head. "That is something you never need to thank me for, ever. And leaving you, giving up on you- that wouldn't be easier, it would tear me apart. I love you. I will always be here for you, beautiful. I promise."

Alec closed his eyes and yawned. "Love you," he whispered drowsily as Magnus brushed the hair out of his eyes and kissed his forehead. 

"Sleep," Magnus ordered softly. "I'll stay with you, I'm not going anywhere."

He settled back against the bed, holding Alec's hand, watching as the Shadowhunter's face relaxed, breathing becoming quieter, steadier, calmer.

He quietly pried the blades out of Alec's hand, slipping them into his pocket. He'd do whatever it took, whatever he could, to make Alec feel better. He'd stay up for a week straight to help him. He loved him, and that was never going to change.

Alec wasn't unfixable- no, far from it. He was lost, but Magnus could help him find his way again. He wouldn't rest until he had. He knew they were both in for a long, hard, uphill battle, likely for the rest of their lives, but they could do it. Magnus was never giving up on Alec.


End file.
